Do you have a goal but feel stuck in achieving it? Or maybe everything is going well on all fronts except for that one thing that you just can’t seem to get right. Do you wonder why you are stuck when it does not seem to make sense? You’re not alone. Nobody has got it 100 % together. That doesn’t mean that you can’t try though.
I have talked about goal setting before and how making good decisions can improve your wellbeing. Today I want to take you a step further in understanding what makes the difference between people who achieve such goals and people who don’t.
The importance of mindset to reach your goal
“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t–you’re right.”
Henry Ford
The number 1 thing that prevent people to achieve what they want in life is their own mindset. If you truly believe that you can do something you will have no issue doing it because you know you can.
Let’s take a basic example. A while ago I was trying to improve my fitness level through running. One way I was working on this is by going for a run in the morning before work. For about a year I had only done interval training (walk/run/walk/run). That was my comfort zone. I could do that for about 45 minutes, I’d break a gentle sweat and tap myself on the back for having exercised. But I was not pushing myself anymore.
So I decided to set myself the target to run a 5K under 30 minutes. I had never done this. I had run three 5k races over the last few years and was always above 30 minutes and I had to walk a couple of times half way through to catch my breath or wait for a stitch to pass.
As a result I did not believe that I could run a 5K under 30 minutes because I had not done it.
To try and overcome this I started using the C25K app which takes you gently from interval running into distance running. But guess what? I was doing fine as long as I had a break at some point during the run. I was able to do 2 times 10 minutes with a 1 minute walk in the middle and I was fine. But my head kept telling me that I cannot do the next step: 22 minutes without a break.
How to break the mental barrier
The next step for me was to break the mental barrier I have that is preventing me from running 22 minutes straight.
But when I became aware of the issue, I knew that what I had to do was just jump. Break through the mental barrier and do it. The reason I knew I could do this is because, even though I may not have run 22 minutes straight before, I had pushed myself outside of my comfort zone before successfully in other areas of my life.
I had moved to countries I didn’t speak the language of, I had got several university degrees and I left a relationship I was comfortable in but no longer happy in.
And so I knew that when I was ready, I would run 22 minutes straight because compared to the above, it was nothing. And I made it happened. After that, it was easy to increase the time to 25 minutes and then 28 minutes. Sadly I injured myself at that point so I did not get to 30 minutes but now I know I can.
Take action now
So whatever it is that you are struggling with right now, start by making the list of your own personal achievements. Does the task at hand still seem unachievable in comparison? Leave a comment below and let us know what it is that you are struggling with.
Stop blaming others for your problems and take responsibility for your life
“The only person who is truly holding you back is you. No more excuses. It’s time to change. It’s time to live life at a new level.”
Tony Robbins
Another oh so common pitfall is to blame others for what has gone wrong in your life. And it is easily done.
Again taking a personal example: my salary. When I look around me at people with my skill set and experience they all seem to earn a lot more than me. So the first question that came to my mind was why? And a long list of reasons external to myself came up: it’s because I requalified during the credit crunch and had to accept low paid jobs, it’s because I moved countries and had to learn other languages, it’s because my ex told me to do this and that, it’s because bla bla bla.
If I am honest the real reason I am where I am today is because I made a number of decisions that took me here. My current life is the result of the decisions I have made over the years. If I want to change things, I need to make new decisions. Which I am doing by the way J
Take action now
What have you been telling yourself are the reasons you are not where you want to be in your life? Take a hard look at it. What was your part in all of this? What can you do now to change this situation? Leave a comment a below if you are ready to share this with us.
The importance of your network to reach your goal
“Your network is your net worth”
Tim Sanders
No matter how motivated you are it is sometimes hard to keep going. Especially when people around you might not understand what you are trying to achieve and have their own limiting beliefs that will after a while slow you down.
It is important to surround yourself with people who are on the same page as you, who have similar goals and are more or less on the same journey as you.
I am not telling you to stop seeing your negative friends but simply to become more aware of the people around you. Are they supportive or your goal or do they constantly bring you down? They might not be aware of their influence. They might not even be aware they are bringing you down.
At work
My team at work is made of lovely people with very good hearts. But they tend to see their glasses half empty. As much as I like them if I am not feeling great I try to keep to myself. Instead I will seek the company of the people I have met through the various personal development courses I have attended over the years.
These people will bring me up, whatever the situation. And more importantly they will encourage me when I feel like giving up. I make sure that I am in touch with them regularly and catch-up at events. One of them has even become one of my closest friend and we have regular catch-ups just to talk about our progress.
At home
Using another simple example, again linked to my health and fitness goal. A few years ago I was looking for a new lodger. I spoke to and interviewed quite a few people and I chose someone who has similar goals. I found a lodger who valued his health, he played hockey several times a week and went to the gym when he wasn’t playing. He also cooked his own food to ensure that what he ate healthy.
Since then I have only had lodgers who had a positive mindset and were focus on their health. This is perfect for me as having someone in the house in this frame of mind helps me to stay focus on my own health goals. If I had someone in the house who was drinking wine every day I would be quite tempted to do the same which would ruin all of the good work I have been putting in for years.
Take action now
Take a look at your network. Who is supporting you? Who isn’t? What can you do about it? Let us know what changes you are going to make.
Get the support you need to achieve your goals
Sometimes, even when you have the right network, you need an extra push to get you to wherever you want to be. This is where mentors and coaches come in.
I am a highly self-motivated individual and I am not afraid of working hard to achieve the results I want. But even I sometimes need someone to push me further out of my comfort zone to help me grow.
The most basic example of this is personal trainers. If you want to achieve certain fitness results a personal trainer will take you there. You will have sessions booked in the diary and your coach will encourage you to do the extra push-up that you did not think you still had in yourself. Without the personal trainer breathing down your neck you would probably have given up a few push-ups earlier. It is human nature. My personal trainer has been a blessing over the last few months and got me to a really good place.
Whatever the nature of your goal there is someone out there who has already done it or whose job it is to help you get there.
As mentioned before I always have one goal for wealth, health and relationships. And I have coaches / mentors helping me along the way in each area.
Take action now
Who are you going to ask for support? Where are you going to look to find a suitable mentor / coach? Let us know how you get on below. We love to hear your success stories!